The Equation of a Healthy Relationship

They say mathematics is everywhere, or some part of it does exist. Have you ever wondered how a simple algebraic equation can be the key to a healthy relationship? During our childhood, we all must have studied algebra, and some might have loved it or have been haunted by it. So, how (a+ b)2 = a2 + b2 + 2abCan it be a key to a healthy relationship? 

Everyone craves for their relationship to be healthy, but what exactly is a healthy relationship? What are the parameters that need to be in place for a healthy relationship? Or what are the symptoms of an unhealthy relationship? Let’s discuss all this in detail and try to find the equation of a healthy relationship. 

Human is a social animal and gets attached with numerous others during the course of his/her lifetime. It starts from the mother, then father, siblings, friends, colleagues, relatives and acquaintances. During this whole journey, there comes a special person with whom you want to spend your whole life with. Your soulmate, your life partner, the last face you’d want to see when you say the final goodbye. 

During the course of this special relationship, there comes a point where you compare your relationship with that of others. Even if you do not compare, there are chances that things might not be going the way you thought. There are multiple reasons for such thoughts and lastly you start to think that your relationship is a healthy one. 

Definition of a Healthy Relationship

We all know the importance of a healthy body, and its importance in making us feel good and full of life. Similarly, a healthy relationship can make you feel the same. Let’s draw some other similarities, a healthy body needs nourishment of vitamins, minerals, food, etc. a healthy relationship needs nourishment of love, care, affection etc. 

It is said that a person with a healthy diet, sound mind, and workable body is considered healthy. A person with a healthy body does not fall ill due to an excellent immune system.  Similarly a healthy relationship has a healthy diet of love and affection, and it does not fall ill, meaning they don’t fight often, they help each other grow, and the couple have utmost respect for each other. 

There are many parameters that judge a healthy body and even more for judging a healthy relationship. But as immunity remains a significant factor of defining a healthy body, immunity to fights, and other factors that harm a relationship remains a significant factor for a healthy relationship.

How Algebra is Leading to a Healthy Relationship? 

Algebra is simple, and so is mathematics, but only if you understand it and your basics are clear. Do you remember back in school days, some of your classmates might have been really good with mathematics, while some dreaded the thought of it. But as you grew older and understood the nuances you realized that mathematics was not as difficult as you believed it to be.  

All you need is to develop an understanding for the nuances of mathematics, and solving algebra becomes a breeze. Let us consider the two partners as two variables a & b, so if they are alone then a=a & b= b. Simply speaking these are two individuals living their own lives. 

By some miracle or butterfly effect let’s say they come together, now what. There could be three scenarios all leading to different results and the last one can be considered the equation for a healthy relationship. 

Scenario I: a+b = a+b.

It can also be considered the first step of the relationship. A simple scenario where two individuals come together but they do not bring anything with them to the relationship. a brings its own personality traits, and at the same time b brings its own. a & b come together to create their love story, but what they do from here on would determine the health status of their relationship. 

Both the partners are just two individuals together, they can be happy, but might not be able to stand strong if they face a problem. Even if one partner fails to keep up they fall apart. You might have heard that a relationship is a 50-50 partnership, this is for these Scenario-I couples. But in reality a relationship can never be a 50-50 partnership, when one fails and gives only 25%, the other one must come forward and provide 75% for the relationship. 

Scenario II: a2 + b2 = a2 + b2  

These couples can be considered as the advanced versions of Scenario-I couple. Mainly because they try to do so much in the relationship that it feels like double efforts. They think that by doing so, they could have a healthy relationship. But they fail to understand the simple fact that here, they are working on themselves, and not on the relationship. 

Again referring to the 50-50 partnership. If we stretch it to say 100-100 partnership, they might be looking for a happier relationship but are still stuck in the 50-50 dilemma. Broadly speaking, they are doubling their efforts on the relationship, in a way to satisfy their ego, that they have put double effort into the relationship. Now if it fails its not on them but the other partner. 

Scenario-III: (a+ b)2 = a2 + b2 + 2ab

Before venturing into the details of the last scenario, can you answer this basic question for me: Is a relationship a partnership of two separate individuals or a single entity made with amalgamation of two individuals? Or is a relationship like two coins kept in a purse, or a single coin with two sides? If you know the correct answer, you are on the right path to a healthy relationship. 

When these two individuals from Scenario-I, come together and double their efforts in strengthening their relationship, they get a healthy relationship. Why is this a healthy relationship you ask? Simple, just follow the equation. 

With their collaborative efforts,  (a+ b)2 they get a2 + b2 similar to Scenario-II couples plus they get 2ab as a bonus for their efforts. This extra 2ab is what you get when you go beyond your ego and connect with your partner so that you two work together to get to a healthy relationship. 

It is also said that being selfless and helping fellow travelers on the path of life is a noble deed. I also believe that pure love is conditionless & selfless, for instance, a mother’s love for her child is pure, she doesn’t love the child on certain conditions, and keeps selflessly loving the child till her last breath. I am not advocating that you should have that level of love between you, that’s impossible but instilling some of the traits can be possible. 

Summing it all up, it can be said that if you have found a partner you want to spend your whole life with, do your best to ensure you have a healthy relationship. Do your best and take the best out from your partner so you together become capable to crack the equation for a healthy relationship.